Today is my 10 year wedding anniversary. That’s right – it was ten years ago today that two crazy kids thought they’d make their relationship official by saying I-do’s and exchanging self-written vows.
I realize that this is a pretty small amount of time in the grand scheme of things (my parents are approaching their 40 year wedding anniversary), but I am quite proud of what we’ve been through and accomplished.
So in light of that, I’d like to reflect on a few thoughts:
10 Year Wedding Anniversary Thoughts:
1. If you’re waiting for some sign to get married to someone you are truly in love with, stop waiting and just do it already. You’ll never be ready enough, rich enough, far enough in your career, skinner enough, whatever enough …. If you can’t imagine your life without that person, you know its long term, and your relationship is strong and committed, then you’re ready.
2. It’s easy to get married, but really hard to stay married. Being married is really, really hard work. I am very happy for all the people who claim they never fight or never put any effort into their relationships. Good for you – but this is not always the case for everyone. Marriage (and especially when you have kids) really tests how far you’re willing to go and what you’re ready to give up in terms of selflessness. This by no means a deterrent, but a fact that you should embrace before taking the plunge.
3. Never, ever stop being the person your spouse fell in love with. That means being funny, interesting, entertaining, passionate, full of surprises, sexy, romantic, etc. It’s way too easy to get comfortable and not try to impress each other the way you used to.
4. A lack of respect will kill things very quickly. Don’t fall victim to the “my good for nothing husband / wife” routine where one treats the other like an idiot or little kid.
5. Always, always communicate. If you don’t like something or are uncomfortable, then tell each other. No amount of time will allow you read each others’ mind. Childish games and keeping it to yourself will never work.
6. And on that note, always be ready to give your spouse your full attention. You haven’t seen each other all day long. Maybe you don’t care what she has to say. It doesn’t matter. Whatever is on TV or on the computer in front of you is not as important as the impact it will have on your relationship or what the other one thinks about you. Also, be ready to listen and not just talk.
7. As I mentioned earlier, raising children and developing them into young adults will be one of the biggest jobs of your life. Your spouse is your partner, and the better you two work together, the more your children will thank you for it later.
8. It’s okay to have space. There are many times my wife goes and plays Facebook for an hour or so – and that’s her way of taking a break from everything she’s got going on. I do the same in my own way. You don’t have to spend every minute together. Sometimes the absence helps to remind you what you’re missing.
9. Money will amplify everything. If you fight, money will only make it worse. If you’re happy together, money will also help to do more things together that the two of you will cherish. But in no way does money ever solve the problem. It always starts with who the two of you are, and what you’re willing to do for your relationship. Once that is solid anything is possible.
Happy 10 Year Wedding Anniversary Sweetheart!
1) Don’t Forget About One of Your Biggest Investments – Your Marriage
Photo Credit: Microsoft Clip Art