But brewing in some dark corner is conflict. Unrest. As it turns out, at least one person is not excited with the way you do things. This will not be anything tangible. You will not have committed any crimes. No, the problem will be intangible – what this person believes you can or can’t do in the future. Whether or not you’re really doing things according to the priorities as they see it.
Ordinarily this would not be a problem. You’ll never agree with every single person at work. But what do you do when this person is your boss, superior, or frankly someone in charge of your compensation? How do you keep from compromising your career as well as your wallet?
Believing in Yourself is Resilience:
It doesn’t matter who’s right. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past. For as long as you work for this person, all you can do is wait to prove them wrong. All you can do is control the here and now, and where we go from here. So what do you want to do about it? What’s going to be your play?
You may think you’re stuck and that this is unfair. You may think you’re the only one and being singled out. But this kind of thing happens more than you think. Everyone gets a spin at the wheel. You’re not the first one, and you certainly won’t be the last.
Some of the largest giants and CEO’s in the world have had people doubt them and their abilities. Even the likes of Oprah Winfrey, J.K. Rowling, and Steve Jobs were all once fired from their jobs. Yes, even the great Steve Jobs was ousted from Apple back in 1985, the company he founded. Only after the company was in shambles did he come back and make it the phenomenon it is today.
You may think that when you’re reprimanded, disciplined, demoted, or even worse – fired – that your life is over. But did that stop any of these famous people? No! In fact, each of these individuals went on to build something larger than anyone could have ever imagined. They were sleeping giants just waiting to be awakened…
Each of them picked up in spite of someone not believing in them, and continued onward until somebody did. They didn’t wait to be told or ask for permission. They had a vision in mind, learned from their mistakes along the way, and eventually got the proper support they needed to change the lives of others as well as themselves.
Only you know when you’re ready to unleash your greatness to the world. No single project or task is going to be the key. Believing in yourself will have to come from your own hunger and ambition. And when no is around to throw coal in the fire, you’ll be the only one who can fuel it.
You are More Than Your Job:
“You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You are not your f%@king khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
What actually defines a man? Is it the job they have or the amount of money they make? The school they graduated from? Or is it the talents they possess? The results they achieve? The lives they change?
Your job is your training grounds where you test gold in fire each day. If you don’t, then you’re preventing yourself from receiving the full benefit you deserve. Your job is there to test your ideas, develop your talents, and shape the person you become. The most fortunate of us can find a mentor to help us along the way. We can work tirelessly to gain their approval while never expecting to hear about it.
We will all be doubted. We will all be questioned. We will all be on trial for our actions and decisions. No one is above judgment. This is the law of the jungle.
No matter what your superiors may think of you, always know this: Only you know what you’re capable of accomplishing. You alone know your talents. You alone can channel your passion into results. Don’t let the reservations of others add to your own self-doubt. Cut through that darkness like high beams in the night. Show us what you’ve got. Show us why you matter.
Readers – Despite what others may think, what do you do to continue to believe in yourself and keep motivated?
Related Posts:
1) Practicing Entrepreneurship the Fraidy-Cat Way – Using Your Job
2) Overcoming Envy – Why Do We Hate Other People’s Success?
3) The Management Skills List – Do You Have What it Takes to Earn More This Year?
Image courtesy of pakorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I try not to care what others think, life is too short to try and please everyone.
As long as you are happy then they are the one with the problem – not you.
Well put Glen. I guess its a lot like saying that people can only defeat you if you let them.
I am like Glen and try not to care what others think. Life is just way too short and there are much more important things in life than making everyone happy. Providing for my family and challenging myself is what keeps me motivated.
You were the smart one in this whole situation and went to work for yourself, so there’s no superior there to disagree with you. Perhaps we could chalk this up as another benefit of being an entrepreneur.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that we can’t make everyone happy. I continue to educate myself so I’m one up over the competition and I make sure I know what I’m talking about. Sometimes you have to kiss the arse that’s bent over but in the end if you product top notch stuff even if it’s only you that recognizes the accomplishment that’s all that matters. Our career does not have to define us, it just makes us stronger. No one ever said a good challenge ever hurt anyone. Great post.
Thanks CCB! You’re absolutely right that your career does not have to define you. In my opinion your talents and ability to create accomplishments should be what precedes you. And you’re right – there’s nothing wrong with being challenged to prove it!
I went through this recently when a producer (who actually started off as a friend), ended our working relationship because they thought I was some horrible, untalented, unprofessional person. Her comments to me would chip away at my self esteem and leave me doubting myself. I was just as happy to have our working relationship end as she was. And truthfully I’m so much happier not getting degrading and condescending emails anymore from her. You can be a strong person and let things roll off your back, but eventually those things seep into your soul one email/phone call/conversation at a time. Sometimes the relationship, if at all possible needs to be reevaluated and ended to experience relief. Not possible in all situations I know.
In the meantime, building up self-confidence and self-esteem is key to making it through those tough times. Great post!
That is horrible. Its funny how people use the guise of a friendship to be vicious.
Thanks! And this illustrates the point so well! You have to be a pillar of strength and rely on your self confidence. If the situation just continues to get worse despite you knowing what you can do, then just go do good work for someone else who will recognize your talents.
Ugh, that’s awful. I am terrible with giving negative feedback and I could never imagine saying stuff like that out loud to anyone let alone a friend.
The key is to have enough self-confidence to know you’re doing your best, but not so much that you become arrogant and think you have nothing to improve. Confidence can be a fragile thing, and it’s important not to let others tear it apart, whether its a supervisor, acquantence, or a family member.
In general, I trust my own gut about myself and my work more than what other people say. If I know I’m putting out quality and doing a good job, then it doesn’t matter so much what anyone else thinks.
I’ve got a little bit of the “I know I’m right” thing going as well. I feel as though one of the requirements of great productivity is the ability to know when to make calls and when to truly ask for help. Sometimes the decisions we make will bite us in the butt or rub others (or our superiors) the wrong way. But what’s the alternative – ask for permission for everything? I think not …
Love the title of this post. Thankfully I’ve never been fired, but I think I’d have enough self-confidence (foolishly so, sometimes) to tell myself that it’s not my issue, but my employer’s. I think to be successful you have to acknowledge what others think about you, but not let it break your confidence. You can think/say whatever you want and I’ll hear you out, but if I think you’re wrong, I’m not going to let it impact me.
I’ve known a lot of people who got fired for less than a disagreement with the wrong person. But if they are truly as good at their jobs as they make themselves out to be, it doesn’t take long before they’re at a neighboring company and right back at it. The point is that you have to know what you’re good at and be able to leverage it. To some degree that takes ignoring what other people say …
Most of the time, it is not personal. You get fired because the company makes budget cuts, not because you are bad. Your friends stop seeing you because they have a new kid, or move two towns over, not because they don’t like you. Detaching yourself from the situation really helps. Easier said than done, but you probably don’t suck as much as you think.
True, there are a lot of times when management just has to cut to cut. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you or your performance.
Very ironic post today as I had a patient yell at me today and say some really mean things. I don’t have a boss so my patients are the ultimate test of how well I am doing. This poor lady had some medical issues that caused poor vision. I told her this, but people always think new glasses will help, even if you tell them point blank they will not. She was very mad when her new glasses did not help, even though she got them somewhere else and not from me. I know she is mad because of her situation and not at me, but I am an easy target, and that’s OK if it makes her feel better. Didn’t make my day though,but I can’t dwell on it. Tomorrow is another day.
I’m glad my post found you in time 🙂 That’s too bad she took it out on you. Obviously its not your fault and she is just directing it out on someone. I’ve had many, many customers do the same thing to me. You’re right – ultimately they ARE the boss because they control whether or not you’ll see any revenue. But like you said – Tomorrow is another day! Another chance to get back on the horse and prove what you’ve got.
Great post! I think that we all have good days and bad days and we just have to move forward. I suck in different ways all the time. I just try to do better the next time =)
That’s right – you can’t have the good without the bad. Sometimes its not me and the way I do things. A lot of times its just the way people react to what is going on or how they interpret the situation. Sometimes they get it wrong …
Love this post. So sweet.
Thanks Lauren. I was going for a more raw post today. 🙂
Love this post. Sometimes we flounder and struggle, but continue to work against the current. Never underestimate the power of hitting RESET; sometimes stepping away from something, even for a short while, can be the key to a successful rebound.
I completely agree. Sometimes you just have to remove yourself from the situation for a bit to bring it all back into perspective; even for the people who don’t think you’re doing what you should be.
So important! Like Glen, i try and not care what people think and if there are difference in opinions I try to not let it bother me. I lost a dedicated reader because of a post I did. I posted some facts (not opinions, but verified, scientific facts) and they had a very wrong, un-supported opinion on the topic- I presented them with the facts again (and then some) but they chose to stop reading and continue on living their lives with misinformation….can’t change everyone!
Catherine, that is really interesting that you had a similar situation happen on your blog! I’m interested – which post was it?? If there’s one thing I’ve learned from blogging, its that there are some VERY opinionated people out …
Inspiring post MMD, believing in ourselves is one of the if not THE greatest power in the universe. There is nothing that we can’t achieve if we simply believe that we can do it, it will act as a fuel to keep us going no matter how many times we fail!
Thanks Ardiv! I think its important to realize that we’re going to fail and not impress everyone, so not to be so surprised when we do. Instead, all we can do is test our theories, figure out what works, and then do the best work we can. If it isn’t good enough for one person, it will be for someone else.
Maybe the key to being successful is getting fired. But not just getting fired; getting back up on your feet and building something amazing afterwards. Which all takes the incredible self-confidence you’re talking about.
Well hopefully none of us get fired! But I do get what you’re saying. The distance between your lowest low and your highest high is an incredible feat.
I simply try my best at everything that I do in a moral/ethical manner. If somebody doesn’t like me, then often times there may not be much that I can do about it or it was from a simple misunderstanding. If the problem is fixable, then I’ll certainly make sure the misunderstanding is addressed, but beyond that I try to do my thing and let the rest fall as it may.
…and let the rest fall as it may.
Very well written piece! I’m motivated to continue on despite the challenges that exists!
Thanks Brent! Moving on is really all you can do.
In my role, disagreement and conflict are a fact of life to ensure healthy debate and get to the best outcome. Ultimately, if they shape a better work product, their are no hard feelings, but you have to be thick skinned, not take things to seriously and know that you have a back up plan that means you can walk away without too many issues. That’s one of the reasons I started my Integrator $50k fund to provide me with $50k/yr in dividend income. You never know when a good work situation can turn into a negative one.
Excellent perspective. I think disagreement is actually pretty healthy for inspiring creativity, new ideas, and as you said the best outcome. But sometimes our childlike nature kicks in, and some people like to throw their weight around to lash out at those who oppose them. I can totally respect having that $50K backup plan. You can get fired for basically any reason, and if anyone ever tries to get too righteous on you, you’ve got a pretty soft landing to fall back on with that $50K net. Nice money design!
Really great article and so true. This topic is not discussed very much but resiliency and an unshakeable belief in one self is critical. Everyone faces rejection, frustration and failure if they are working hard. It is just part of the process. But it makes all of us stronger and more mature and more capable as workers, owners and as people.
Really great post on a very vital area!
Thanks Steven. It was a very humbling post to write, but one that I’m glad I did.