It has been about two weeks now since my family and I took the big plunge and moved into our new home.
Like I mentioned in an earlier post, this move was all about priorities – the most important ones being close to my children’s schools and my wife’s work.
In addition to relocating our home lives, my working life also took a dramatic turn. I was offered a great job opportunity by one of my former clients at a location that was within a reasonable commute to my new house. With little hesitation, I sprung at the opening and have now switched jobs.
I’m sure I don’t need to tell anyone that leaving your house of 11 years and your job of 12 years doesn’t come without some sort of apprehension or uncertainty. As human beings and creatures of routine, we definitely have a fear of change and are adverse to things that are uncomfortable.
Despite knowing fully good and well that this choice we made as a family to move is a good one, I still had all the natural “what-if’s” and doubts that any normal person would have:
- What if our new house has more problems than the old one?
- What if my new job has longer and more demanding hours than the last one?
- What if I don’t end up making as much money as my last job?
- What if the new neighborhood isn’t as good as the one I’m used to?
- What if I get stuck doing a job I really don’t want to do?
- What if no one respects me or what I do?
Change can sometimes be the boogieman hiding in your closet or under your bed at night when it’s dark. You think it’s there. You think it’s going to get you.
But in reality, there isn’t anything there. Nothing is coming to get you.
Only being two weeks into this new life, about the only thing I can say for change is that sometimes it can be good.
Overcoming Your Fear of Change
There’s an old quote that goes “The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.”
Fear causes us to resist change. We don’t like what we can’t control.
We don’t like it when we can’t predict the outcome. You can’t fight it – it’s an evolutionary thing. If these were caveman times, avoiding hunting areas you were unfamiliar with could have meant the difference between life and death.
But these aren’t caveman times any more. And our situations aren’t necessarily life and death. We’re talking about moving from one house to another. One neighborhood of green grass to another with even greener grass.
We’re talking about moving from one office with responsibilities, a boss, and coworkers to another type of office with similar responsibilities, a boss, and coworkers. Although all the names and faces are different, the characters and roles are all pretty much the same.
Even though you know the outcome will be good and you’ve calculated every possible scenario of this change where you life will be better, we still tend to resist; because we don’t like change.
My friends: Let me tell you – take the deep dive into the unknown.
Punch your fear of change in the face and push forward with all your enthusiasm.
Part of who you are in this life and the type of adult you mature into has a lot to do with not just the challenges you overcome, but also how you challenge yourself. I sincerely believe that.
No one else is going to take you and turn you into the sharpest sword around. Sometimes you’ve got to take yourself to the grindstone and do it yourself.
Every once in a while you’ve got to take “a risk”. A risk is called a risk because it may or may not pay off in the end. It’s a gamble. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be.
To paraphrase a quote from the famous Peter Drucker: Successful entrepreneurs aren’t great risk-takers, they take calculated risks and manage the downside, so as to reduce the harm that will result from failure.
Being an entrepreneur and risk-taker can go well beyond starting a business. Whether your aim is to make more money, be more successful, have more time, or simply give your family a better life, sometimes the key to it all is to calculate the risk and then make it happen.
No one else can make that happen for you. You have to commit yourself to it and just do it.
Once you jump into the pool, it might be cold at first. But very quickly your body will adjust. And then, just like everyone loves a good dip in the water, you’ll start to feel relaxed and refreshed. You’ll be glad you did, and wonder why you didn’t jump in sooner in the first place.
Featured image courtesy of Nana B Agyel | Flickr
Jayson @ Monster Piggy Bank says
Congrats MMD on the new house. It’s normal to encounter such thoughts about your new house. But, you just have to believe that everything will be good later on and you’ll get used to it. And I know you can overcome it. Good luck!
MMD says
Thanks! I’m looking forward to getting past the initial shock and moreso into a familiar routine.
John @ Frugal Rules says
Congrats again on the move and new job DJ. That said, love your thoughts here. I can relate to that fear of the unknown. That’s what kept me back from taking the plunge for so long. I’d find myself coming up with excuses of why I thought it wouldn’t work or think I couldn’t do it. Now I wonder what took me so long to take that leap. The nice thing, at least from what I’ve found, is that once you wrap your mind around that fear and take the leap the next time you do it becomes a little easier and so on.
MMD says
Going into business for myself like you did would be one of the biggest leaps of faith I think you could make. I’ve got a lot of admiration for you and people like you who have enough confidence to give entrepreneurship a shot.
Kim@Eyesonthedollar says
I remember the weekend before signing the closing papers on my practice. I had a huge “What have I done” meltdown and then it was OK. Since then some things have gone as I expected and some haven’t, but I”m so glad I let go of what was dragging me down, even if it did pay the bills. I think I would much rather look back and think about the pros and cons of a choice instead of always wondering what if because I didn’t make a decision.
MMD says
That’s exactly it. Once you get past what you know you must do, it will leave you wondering what took you so long to get there.
Karman says
Powerful article – thank you for sharing your personal, life-changing story!
MMD says
Thanks Karman!
Mr. Utopia @ Personal Finance Utopia says
The funny thing is, change happens all the time around us without our control. We all know how to deal with it even if we aren’t realizing that’s what we are doing. We run into problems when we have to make a decision between several alternatives – that’s when we often fear change and the unknown it may bring. Most of the time the change turns out for the better. However, if it does not, you aren’t locked in. You simply adapt and make further changes if the decision you made ends up not being for the best.
Abigail @ipickuppennies says
Sounds like pretty scary stuff. I know that there are a few moves I’m planning — like buying rental property — that will be terrifying. But I’ll just keep reminding myself that it’s worth the risk.
Dane Hinson says
I’ve definitely turned down some great job offers due to the fear of change. Eventually you have to embrace change if you want to move forward and be successful. I know that our family will need to move eventually to take advantage of new opportunities, so I will heed this advice.
EL @ Moneywatch101 says
All the changes sound exciting DJ. Once I embrace it, I enjoy it, but yes theres that little fear factor with big moves. So Im sure people are interested to know the deats of the new 401K plan, better, the same, or worse? That’s a big issue for me, as my plan is a really good one, and moving jobs will def. shorten the time to FI.
ARB says
I can relate to this, both in a good way and a bad. I used to be a “career teller”; you couldn’t pull me away from my teller window because I felt safe there. I knew what I was doing and I knew it well. It didn’t matter how bad the job got; better to deal with it than face the unknown.
And so I was a teller for 5 years. And that’s why people who are younger than me who started at the same time as me are ahead of me, working as investment advisors and in corporate.
That’s why I’m taking the promotion and why I got my life insurance license. Because I can’t be crippled by fear of the unknown.
My recommendation is the same as MMD’s. The unknown only stays the unknown if you stay away out of fear. And it stays the unknown forever. So don’t fear it. I am anxious and nervous about this new position, but staying away out of fear doesn’t help me at all.
Definitely an article that hit home, MMD.
Sincerely,
ARB–Angry Retail Banker